I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
