it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
handjob tips. give me some.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
