dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
