At least make sure they are 18
Why
im drinking this country out of the recession.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
