can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
