the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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