i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
