We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Bring me that man meat
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
