I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
