What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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