Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
