I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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