you turned your livingroom into a bong?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
