woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
