and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
