Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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