Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
