everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
