Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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