i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
