At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
