do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
