If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
