I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
