so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
