Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
