I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
