some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
