Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
