The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
