Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
