You're my little dorito
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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