just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
