Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
