No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
