I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
