One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Enjoy the penises
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
