I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
