U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
