Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
