Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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