Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
