roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
