There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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