u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
