Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
