Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
