if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
