you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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