Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
NoShamevember. You game?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
